The Unwanted Reminder

I’m not a fan of people telling me, “it goes by faster than you think,” or,”cherish every moment,” and any other similar sentiment.

I’m sure I’m not the only parent that feels this way. We see it all the way through pregnancy. Within the first days of our children’s lives. We wish we could go back and cherish every moment longer. As they grow, we just want to rock them to sleep one more time. We are doing everything we can as a parent, and sometimes we wish and hope that it would slow down.

It’s funny as a parent how we learn just as much as we teach. It’s a strange thing to call a child ours, knowing one day we will have to let them go. No matter how much effort is put into it, even the greatest moments come to an end. It’s unchangeable. Life happens.

 

I realized Denver is now two and a half. That’s halfway to being old enough to start kindergarten. I wanted to cry. I got over that, thought about it again, and wanted to cry some more. My little wee baby is growing up right before my eyes. To think of all that she has accomplished in the flicker of time that has led up to today, my emotions go haywire. I’m excited for her. I’m excited for the person she is and will be in the future. At the same time, I just want to hold her like a little baby. I don’t want to let her grow up.

As she drifts off to sleep her tiny voice says, “love you so much.” There is pride beaming from my soul in the sweetness that makes up her personality. I get to be the mother of the wonderful person she is. I get to take credit for who she is, even though there are many days I don’t feel I deserve it. The day has ended, and no matter how hard the day was, those words are a reminder of how truly phenomenal life is.

Her vocabulary grows on a daily basis. She comes up with stories and phrases, sometimes so out of the blue I wonder where she could have developed the ideas. Her imagination is so creative, her idea of play growing to include her own unique games. She makes up songs. Often she will change her sentence to a musical number right smack in the middle. I sing my answer back, sometimes having full conversations belonging in a musical.

I look at her, seeing her piercing blue eyes under the longest lashes I’ve ever seen, thinking there is no way she could be any┬ámore beautiful. I’m proven wrong when she wakes up every day even prettier than the one before. She pretends to put on makeup, having her very own blush brush, and I can’t help but laugh at the idea of her ever needing makeup.

Her personality makes me wonder what I did right enough to deserve having this little person in my life. God truly blessed me when he decided she would be my baby. I’ve never known a child with so much empathy. Seeing a person cry, she will be there to pat their back saying, “it’s okay.” If she even thinks she bumped into you, a sincere apology is the first thing out of her mouth. Her laughter rings through my house like a dinner bell, causing every person to come running to enjoy her antics.

I see my world revolving around her, knowing she will never cease to amaze me. I ‘m so grateful for all that she is and all that she will become. Sometimes there is sadness in that. I know how quickly this time is passing.

When I’m reminded that these moments aren’t forever, I’m being reminded of something I already know. Regardless of how simple it may seem, I can’t see it as kind words of wisdom.

It’s just a painful reminder.

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